Pineapple Heads
by AaCcEeYy
Summary: One-shot at a spiky-haired, pineapple-headed ShikaTema family in the future. Written pre-conclusion.


**A/N: Just a little one-shot at a Shikatema family in the future, some backstory included.**

**Hope you enjoy! :)**

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><p>"Ow, ow, ow, OUCH! Daddy, you're pullin' too hard!"<p>

The four year-old brunette fidgeted in his lap, making the already strenuous job impossible.

"Sorry, sorry," the ponytailed man replied, still managing a sigh even with the five hair bands wedged between his lips. He gathered the last of the remaining chocolate-brown strands of hair and twisted them into a short, high, and spiky ponytail— one of three that sat on the hyperactive girl's head.

Twisting around to look at him, her teal eyes gleamed as she gave him a toothy smile, and she grabbed his face with her two chubby hands, smacking his cheek with a sloppy wet kiss. "Fank you!" she exclaimed after pulling away.

Shikamaru chuckled. "Oh no, thank _you_, Shikumi." He waited until she had scrambled off his lap before wiping off the remainder of the drool. She almost face-planted in the process, tripping over the much too large t-shirt that hung off her frame. At this point, using anything other than hand-me-downs was just too troublesome.

"ME NEXT!" a high-pitched voice squealed, a tiny body to match skidding in at high speed, leaping in the air and landing squarely on his groin. She grabbed her golden-tan hair in a small fist and shook it at his face, oblivious to his state of pain.

He hunched over and groaned in his chair, seeing stars. "Tamae," he rasped, "What did I say about doing that?"

The girl pouted her lips and shrugged. "I dun remember."

"HEY! I thought it was my turn next!" a voice whined from behind him—his eldest, a nine-year old. She stomped her foot, her gold-brown eyes close to tears.

"It was your turn _yesterday,_" the little blonde shot back, waggling her tongue at her sister.

"DAD! This isn't fair!" She ran over and grabbed onto his shirtsleeve, tugging with all her might. "It's my turn today!"

"NO! I was here _first_!" Tamae shot back, swatting the other girl's hands away, consequently smacking her father in the process. "Stupid Akemi!" The two pairs of brown eyes glared at eachother, and the younger moved to grab onto her older sister's light brown hair.

Shikumi, obviously upset that she wasn't getting in on the attention, collapsed on the ground in a wailing heap. "DADDY! DADDY, I'M HUNGRY!"

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his temples, but sat and took it all. This was a daily routine.

This was his life now.

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><p>He didn't know how exactly it had happened. He and Temari had initially both agreed that marriage was "too troublesome," and all together a hassle that they didn't need to go through. Maybe it was Naruto and Hinata's exuberant wedding celebration, or perhaps the exciting new news of Sakura and Sasuke's first baby on the way, but either way— <em>something<em> got the clocks ticking inside of Temari. She was, after all, a girl.

So, having long before found out that "happy girl equals happy world," the Nara got a ring, waited a while, waited some more—because strategy can't be rushed, you know—and eventually, proposed.

Even though the blonde hadn't exactly known _what_ would make her happy, nothing could beat the beaming grin on her face when he got down on one knee, read off a cheesy speech, and slid the ring on her finger.

Saying their first pregnancy was stressful was an understatement. Shikamaru, having had quite a bit of previous knowledge from looking over Kurenai and her child for so long, tried to help, but Temari had been an absolute wreck. Not only was she still adjusting to the move from Suna, but it infuriated her that she was suddenly someone who had to be protected at all times. She insisted on going on at least D-rank missions, until the point came where even those weren't advised. It was around that time that the realization that she was going to _birth _a_ baby _finally sank in, and the boatful of emotions that ensued was ten times greater than any wrath Shikamaru had ever experienced from his mother.

However, after nine months of living hell, Akemi, their first born, came along. She was a happy and beautiful bundle of sandy brown hair and eyes to match. Shockingly to both of them, parenting suddenly came naturally. Unlike during the pregnancy, they knew what to do and how to do it, with a little help from other women of the village, of course.

By their second child, they were just about pros, and they handled Temae with ease. That is, until the little teal-eyed blonde became old enough to talk.

She would chatter away aimlessly about anything and everything, which had been endearing at first, but eventually left both parent's brains fried and ears bleeding. However, if they had known what was coming in the future, they would have kissed the ground they walked on to have it stay that way. No, the _real_ trouble began when the _talking_ became _fighting_.

Oh, the fights between Akemi and Tamae seemed to last forever. Filled with screaming, crying, spitting, and hair pulling, it was often that the eldest Uchiha boy, an officer at the newly created police department, would show up at their doorstep due to complaints from the neighbors.

Of course, with Sakura and Sasuke being his parents, it was always waved off.

Having Shikumi was like adding madness to the mix. Though probably less violent than her older sisters, she was a _pouter_. It was her way or the highway. If she didn't get what she wanted, or if she wasn't always the center of attention, you could bet she'd be on the floor having a screaming, sobbing fit.

It was at this point that Sikamaru began hoping—no, _praying_ is a better word for it—a son. Someone to maybe share his quieter nature, or even his appreciation of clouds. Heck, he'd take another girl if she had those qualities. But, of course, his wish still remained to be granted.

There were times, however, when the young family was able to go out in public, usually to visit the little Akamichi and Yamanka kids for a play date. Of course, this was only after two agonizing hours of getting the girls dressed, fed, and ready. Maybe three, depending on the girls' moods that day. When they _did_ go out though, spiky ponytails and all, you could be sure they had a reputation.

Initially it had only been Naruto that called them by it, but it quickly caught on. Well, if the Hokage was going to scream, "YO, IT'S THE PINEAPPLE HEADS!" everywhere they went, it was only a matter of time before it went around.

"Oh, there go the Pineapple Heads again! What a cute family!"

"How ya doin' Pineapple Heads, may I introduce you to out newest dumpling recipe?"

They never tried to deny it. After all, it was clearly true.

So, anyway, this was one of those days. One of those three-hour-get-ready days, and Shikamaru was on hair duty, which typically ended up with him acting as a referee.

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><p>"Alright, <em>alright,<em>" he interrupted, silencing the girls with a clap. "Tamae, Akemi is right. It's her turn to go next today."

"But _Dad_—"

"No buts!"

"Bu—"

"Eh!"

"W—"

"EHH! You can go first tomorrow."

"Fine," she grumbled, shuffling off into the kitchen. But not before sticking her tongue out one last time at her older rival.

The rest of the morning routine went by with surprising ease. Shikamaru was able to do the girls' spiky and unruly hair—Akemi in pigtails, Tamae with four stubby ponytails (like her mother, she'd insist), and Shikumi with three—while Temari cooked breakfast.

When it was all set to go, making one last potty break, the two adults stood in the kitchen.

"You three go outside, we'll be out in a second," Temari called, wiping her hands with a rag.

"Okay!" they chimed back in unison, sprinting out the door to play with a ball in the meantime.

Temari walked over and rested her head on her husband's shoulder, closing her teal eyes and letting out a deep sigh. "Well," she said. "That was exhausting."

Shikamaru snorted. "You said it."

She gazed out the window and smiled slightly as she watched them toss around the inflated toy. "Yeah. But we did good, didn't we?"

He shrugged in response, inclining his head to look at the ceiling. "I suppose, even if they are a bunch of crazy, hyperactive, insane pineapple heads."

"Of course," she responded. She slid an arm around his waste. "But they're _our_ pineapple heads."

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><p><strong>AN: Hope you enjoyed!**

**I heard Kishimoto sayid he doesn't plan to pair Shikamaru up with anyone, but I refuse to believe it. I REFUSE!**

**Please review, constructive criticism welcome! :)**


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